Gentlemen, I would like to start a conversation between the you that you share with the world, and the human you’re protecting on the inside.
Ladies, I invite you to do the same with me as we clarify some things that need to be said and heard on both sides so that we can more successfully maneuver the sometimes overwhelming path of aligning the person we show the world with the human we are becoming.
He says she is his angel, his salvation, his God-given solace.
She says he is her heart, her beloved, her strength.
These words are truth to us as we say them, and the genuine love and gratitude in these statements is heartfelt on both sides, but there are things to consider to keep us in the truth of who we are so that we are not just self-aware, but able to see what the other needs; to unify our efforts to strengthen who we are seperately, and as a team.
Angels bleed. They cry in despair, they are terrified of failure, they can become emotionally exhausted…
He lives in a quiet fear of wondering when the time will come when she can no longer get back up. He knows that everytime he hurts her in his own agony, he creates a wound in himself that mirrors the one he inflicted. He is as tired of saying the words “I’m sorry” as she is of hearing them, and he knows this…
but they must be said and heard.
Some of these angels have had no choice but to leave because there is no escape from hell for those who keep dancing with the devil, and sometimes those we love refuse to help save themselves.
She isn’t his salvation, but she can help him save himself. A man will not take on a task he doesn’t believe he can win and she knows this, so she is relentless in showing him the next possible thing…
and he takes one more step for himself.
Being perceived as angelic and placed on a pedestal can be overwhelming. How does anyone live up to that full time? What will happen when the world sees us hurt, angry, resentful, exhausted and wondering when everyone will finally see that we’re only flawed humans loving our people as best we can at the time?
As she spirals out, wings aflame, smoke blinding her, he is not her strength…
She needs him to use his own to pull himself into check, to create a new response plan, to assist her in protecting them as the team they are meant to be. One is not meant to carry the other all the time, both are meant to hold on and help each other as they make their way home.
She calls him her hero. He calls her his angel. They are both right. They will both fall…
But heroes rise, and angels fly.
Always one more time.
By: Shelly Aspenson