“My husband, Matt, spent the last 26+ years within the special operations community. I was not married to him nor did I know him during his time in the Rangers, Special Forces or Delta Force. His time in South America during the war on drugs, Iraq and Afghanistan I was not part of. But I am here now, dealing with the aftermath of what he’s encountered and lost. We have a different perspective on things and our age and past experiences have helped us in our relationship. We handled everything on our own. But experiencing the retreat made us realize, as a couple, that we were not alone in our struggles. The All Secure Foundation helped me understand and deal with his needs. Not that he would say anything about needing help but he did.
When I listened to other’s stories, I connected with what they had to say on so many levels, “like wow that is us or that is me.” I felt like I was not alone in my thoughts and actions. I felt more at home with this group than any of my civilian friends and like they “got it” where others have not. The discussions also triggered a lot of thoughts and ways Matt and I have dealt with issues that we could share with the younger couples and what works and what does not work. If our words help one couple avoid unnecessary pain or save their marriage and family, it is worth it.
I am a very private person so opening up on the retreat was not easy for me, but the venue and the way the whole weekend was scheduled, enabled me to do so. Stacey was fantastic in all she discussed and how she handled all the couples. The exercises that Stacey brought to the table didn’t force us to work together but coaxed and led us to finding different and positive ways of dealing with issues. We were not in classroom the whole time, we met by the water, on the beach and in a private picnic area-relaxed settings that made me more comfortable to open up and share. Finding and understanding Matt’s triggers was a huge breakthrough in this environment. We also had important alone time as a couple to spend, one on one.
Along with adding in the special operations community, at the retreat, where Matt felt at home and not alone really hit us emotionally and spiritually. I cannot say enough about the takeaway experiences, exercises and camaraderie, but I will try. We met several amazing couples and loved hearing their stories. We had a common bond immediately. I consider them a support system from now on. This is an amazing program and I would love to see it continue and grow. You gave Matt and I more secure foundation to grow on. Thank you All Secure Foundation.”
Special Operations Spouse